Archive for January, 2012


For all the ladies out there,

Come check out this new website, www.theblessedexpedition.com.

Structured like a story, this website invites you to follow Maya’s  life journey as she seeks for this elusive City of Vera (aka. the City of Higher Truth). Along the Maya will learn more about herself – the inner light being that she is. There are lessons to be learnt, activities to engage and countless other personal growth resources that will interest all of us who are on our own journey.

If you have guessed it, yes you are right; A Blessed Expedition IS an expansion of Blessedly Woman. But fret not, Blessedly Woman will still be active. Though both may seem similar especially in the types of topics being presented, i.e. personal development, they are quite different in their structure and to some extent, their contents.

It’ll be more accurate to say that they complement each other and not for one to be a replacement of the other.

I hope that you will enjoy reading Maya’s story as I did writing it…. Just make sure you check in daily as her story will be built chapter by chapter each day.

Always with Metta 🙂

Up Next: Synchronicity

For the next Personal Development Tip, I will be discussing the magic of Synchronicity.

If you want to know more on how to effectively harness the blessed energy of this mystical but real concept, do stay tuned!

With Metta…

Though we are almost reaching the end of the first month of the new year, I believe it is still not too late to for us to choose a theme for this year.

When I first read John Assaraf’s (co-author of “The Answer” – a must-read for all entrepreneurs) FB post on 30 Dec 2011 in regards to his personal & business themes for 2012, I thought it was a fantastic way to start the new year. It resonated so much better with me compared to that age-old New Year’s Resolutions hype that rears its head every year-end of which most lasted probably as long as it took for the New Year’s celebrations to wrap up.

Anyways, despite my excitement in wanting a theme to help create the flow I so needed this year, it took me awhile to settle on one that truly reverberates with where & who I am at this point in my life’s journey.

You see, so much has happened last year and those events are still unfolding even as I am writing this, that in the chaos of the inevitable changes, I was challenged to still my mind in order to allow that which I sought to present itself to me… Since that moment when I decided to take John’s advice to set a theme for this year, I had the distinct feeling that it was hovering at the edge of my consciousness but it eluded me for awhile. On hindsight, my theme for this year had been right there in front of me; I was simply too caught up in my struggles to adapt to the new situations that had risen in almost all areas of my life to the point where I was totally blinded to it.

So anyhow, through the power of intention & purpose, I was blessed with an awakening and all of a sudden, there it was… my personal theme for this year is balance through consciousness & purpose. This means that I will put in more effort into developing self-knowledge & into the practice of mindful living to ensure that every action I take is with full awareness and in alignment the objectives I have set for myself. Amazingly, after my theme had introduced itself to me, my business theme made an appearance too, as though by magic or maybe at the invitation of my awareness. Thus, action & contribution took root as my business theme for 2012. This represents the need for my team and I to consistently be in action and those actions we take must always have their intent based on contributing to the benefit of the largest number of people.

So for those who have yet to choose a theme for their personal life and/or business for this year, I invite you to engage in this liberating activity. You will be more than pleasantly surprised at how much clarity you will gain by the process.

 

Till the next time, always with Metta…

 

Support Social Causes

Photo courtesy of http://www.richworks.in

As this site was created in support & in honour of women, I have added links to some social organisations & groups which are in alignment with my purpose. Check out their websites & learn more of what they do.

Let’s give them our support by contributing in whatever manner possible. In the wise words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 – 1882)

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Over time, I will be also sharing links to commercial organisations that resonate with my desire & further my intention to empower women in manifesting a life filled with love, joy & abundance.

What better way to express our gratitude for all of Life’s blessings, right?

So come let us kickstart 2012’s Valentine’s Day in advance & give love & light to those in need!

Always with Metta…


The Blame Game In Marriage…

“If something sucks in your life & changing it to your desired ideal is not within your control, it’s not the end of the world & you are not powerless… there are always options and resolutions… You either (1) live with it in grace, get rid of the resentment & regrets and shut up OR (2) you leave it with gentle compassion, get rid of the resentment & regrets and move forward… The choice is, has always been and will always be, yours to make… The question is – do you have the faith & courage to make it?”

The above was posted on my Facebook wall a few days back as I was reflecting on why so many of us, myself included, persist on resisting change when a particular situation is obviously not working out for us or worse still, when it hurts us on so many levels.

Many a times, we are simply going through the motions of life, doing what is “acceptable” and “expected”, that we overlook the very fact that how we live our life is a choice that we make and not somebody else’s. Because of this, when things go wrong, it is so common to see the blame game being played. But what is this blame game all about, really? Should it even exist?

The blame game is simply a way for us to absolve personal responsibility for our life; to justify the less-than-desireable choices we have made; to play victim to the world.

Being humans, it is much easier for us to say that someone else, never us, is at fault. When we hear ourselves saying, “I had no choice; I had to do…. because….”, this is the marker to indicate that a new round of the blame game has just begun. On a subtle level, it may sound like, “I have always been … (all the nice, good things we have done) and yet, so-and-so did such-and-such (all the transgressions we perceive in others)… how could he/she do that?

Familiar? So, how many blame games are we guilty of as we go through our days? Are blame games even necessary?

I will share with you a personal experience in which the situation was rife with blame games, though at that point in time, I was oblivious to my contributing to it.

As I go along, some of you may find this familiar; many may not be too pleased with what I have to say. I do apologise if I offend anyone’s sensitivities but say it I must, if only to arouse our awareness in order for us to recognise that regardless how helpless a situation may seem, we are not as powerless as we have been led to believe all our life.

THE INCREASINGLY COMMON SITUATION

In my 35 years of being on this earthly plane, I have seen my fair share of marriages breaking down, not least, my own which lasted 7 years before the other party decided to call it quits. That was in reality a blessing.

You see, if he did not ask for the divorce when he did, I would still be in the marriage, doing my utmost to make it work though it would have been quite futile as we both were pretty miserable for a good part of the 7 years. On his part, I would never know, though I could make a pretty accurate guess, what was the cause of his misery because he never shared that, not even till the very end. On my part, there were many reasons for my misery, not least among them was the fact that a year prior to his asking for the divorce, I found myself in that dreaded situation of coming face-to-face with my spouse’s infidelity.

And yet, despite that ultimate betrayal and the ensuing tension within me, I could not walk away. During that time, I erroneously used my little girl as a reason for not leaving. In actual fact, my course of action was driven by fear. Instead, I offered him the choice then and after thinking through the matter over a few days, he chose to stay and promised to make things work between us. I believed him, or so I thought. In reality, deep down within me, I could not forgive him and that was the beginning of the end.

By not making the choice to leave him and at the same time, not forgiving him, I was playing the blame game. Though it was never made known to others, from that point onwards, I made him responsible for everything that was not going right in our marriage. I covertly created a gap between us by emotionally withdrawing from the relationship because I could no longer trust him. On hindsight, the absence of trust slowly eroded what little emotional link we had left. Overtime, I was simply devoid of most feelings where he was concerned; the prevailing emotion if there was any, was one of frustration and impatience.

I could have saved myself and possibly my marriage if I had applied the advice at the top of this article instead of allowing my base Self to run my life and place the entire responsibility on the other party’s shoulders.

LESSONS LEARNT

In my observations of people I know and from many accounts I have heard about others I do not personally know, the above situation is a common occurrence.

After my own experience, I have come to recognise that many of us women tend to define ourselves through our marriage. Because of social expectations and the perceived value placed on the marriage institution by the world at large, we allow ourselves to remain in one even if in actuality, it is an abuse to our emotional & psychological well-being. And at the same time, we still hold the other party guilty though the choice was ours in the first place.

Here, I want to stress that I am all for marriage but if you are unable to accept your partner’s flaws and mistakes, and if you insist on blaming others (be it your partner or the children or your/his extended family) for the misery the marriage is causing you, remember, that the choice is yours and has always been.

If you choose to stay, find it in your heart to forgive him in entirety for if you do not, you are shortchanging him and yourself from living life in blissfulness and joy.

Forgiving means never to revisit your past frustrations and pains; never to recall any or all of his misdeeds or faults; never to victimise yourself regardless how much the occasion may call for it – not to him, nor to anyone else, not even in silence to yourself. Forgiving means to learn to trust him again. It is to love again with all your heart, without conditions.

If you cannot commit to forgive and rid yourself of all resentments and live the rest of your marriage in grace, remember that we all have choices… we are at nobody’s mercy but our own…

Your happiness is your own responsibility and no one else’s.

Now, do you think the blame game is justified?

With Metta…

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