Archive for December, 2011


Forces of Nature by Marc Adamus

In these last few hours of 2011, it seems appropriate to acknowledge that it was in this year of exciting changes and at times, pretty frightening challenges, I finally had the courage to take that first difficult step to look deep within myself in order to seek the me I was born to be.

This year, I have recognised the acute feelings of loss, confusion and uncertainties. This year, I have learnt lessons in patience, unconditional loving & unwavering faith in myself and all of humankind.

This year, I began to value the blessings behind every difficulties and this year, I made a choice to embrace myself fully – flaws, strengths & everything else in between.

The road has only begun and though I am sure that there will be more lessons to be learnt, more mountains to climb and more scary moments to face, I am profoundly grateful to simply be alive; I am humbled by the beauty I find all around me; I am honoured to love and be loved by the people in my life – old & new, family & friends. After all, life is a never-ending education for all of us.

Though it was this year when I found myself back in the singles category, with a twist – this time, it is not simply “single”, it is “single mother” – with a lot more challenges on the personal & professional fronts, it was also the year where I was pushed to face the hard truth of who I truly am. On this path, I am learning the meaning of being a woman; something which most, if not all, of us take for granted to the point where we are abusing ourselves without thought just by simply being unaware of our true purpose and the gift of womanhood that has been bestowed on us.

We have allowed the prevalent attitude of these modern times to dictate the way we live; to chart the course of actions we take towards ourselves, our loved ones and the world in general.

So it is befitting the moment, for us to stop, take stock of our internal world so as to make the external one a more peaceful, joyous and loving experience despite the difficulties. This is the time to awaken.  This is the time start living…

In case many of us forget or in times when we do lose the bigger picture, I leave you the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Neibuhr to help bring us back on track:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

With Metta Always…

Being Blessedly Woman

As the Phoenix rises from the ashes, so will the Woman rise from defeat...

“Women are never so strong as after their defeat.” ~ Alexandre Dumas

Wise words indeed… and I am ever so glad that a man made that particular observation.

This is the beginning of my path to honour the female half of the population. Being a woman, I understand very well how so few of us  recognise the blessings of being a woman.

Despite the Women’s Movement that started in the late 18th century and despite the great progress women all around the world, in general, have made in the last 200 years or so, the individual woman, most often than not, is still sub-consciously thinking that at the end of the day, their existence is still dependent on a man. For all the independence and equal opportunities that women these days are enjoying, a closer look at the challenges, most if not all, women are facing will tell a different story.

Of course history has seen a large number of women coming into their power, attaining great achievements in their personal and professional lives, and being recognised for it; but there is still a larger number that are struggling with the many roles that the modern women are expected to play. Many a times, when a woman has to juggle being a wife/partner, mother, daughter, employee/employer, friend, etc. she places high expectations on herself; being gentle, nurturing and loving by nature, a woman thinks and feels that she cannot afford to give less than what others are expecting of her… she allows the people in her life to place their demands on her, even if it means she is stretching herself thin, even if it means she is facing a tremendous amount of stress; she tells herself that she cannot fail her loved ones; this to the point of neglecting her own person and her own needs and wants.

I can almost hear some of my fellow women protesting the statement above. Yes, I agree that not all of us will do that but if we are being real honest with ourselves, there is a little more than some truth in this humble observation on mine. We have taken it upon ourselves to “prove” that we are capable; we are almost as good as, if not better, than the menfolk and this is precisely the reason why so many of us feel like we are such a failure if we are unable to fully accept the circumstances of a failed relationship, or a job that brings them no satisfaction, or a teenage child that refuses to listen… and instead of reflecting on the various factors that could have caused the situation in order to move beyond it with an appropriate resolution, we get stuck in denial and find ourselves in a rut that causes such unhappiness & bitterness. We get pulled into that vicious cycle of alternating between self-blame and blaming others.

The question is, why do we do that to ourselves?

Having gone through so many challenges, struggles and supposed failures, I have come to realise that in spite of all the difficulties we face being a woman, we are truly blessed for being the gender that does make a difference to the lives of the people around us, whether we know it or not. It is through these difficulties, that we discover our strengths, our values and most important, our life’s purpose… if we only allow ourselves to truly look deep into ourselves and accept all that we are with a heart full of compassion and love – not so much for others, as how we have programmed ourselves to be, but for ourselves.

With the new year just around the corner, come let us take that first step to a journey of self-discovery so that we can begin to honour a being that is so beautifully made worthy with the grace of Nature inside & out; let us live in gratitude for being blessedly woman.

Truly, our strength is manifested from the ashes of defeat… Now all we need to do is to believe it…

Always with Metta

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